First of all, I have to give God all of the glory, honor, and praise. I haven't always been excited about praising God, that's what makes what He has done in my life so awesome. It also makes me appreciate the love that He has for us even more. Anyone who reads this should know that if God has done this for me, He'll do it for you too! This story began many years ago when I was a boy. Even though at that time, I had no idea what was going on in my life, God had a plan for my life. I was asked as a boy if I believed in God by this voice that came to me in my room one night. I answered the question with a "yes" and the best feeling that I've ever felt came over my body. I told my mother about the experience the next day and I was shocked because she hadn't heard the voice. It was so loud that it shook my soul, but no one else in the house had heard it. Not knowing what to tell me, my mother took me to a woman of God named Mrs. Willie Jackson. After I shared my story with her she told me that God had chosen me for some mighty work. She continued by telling me that I was going to run from this calling, but I wouldn't be able to run far enough. Being a boy, this whole experience scared me because I felt a sense of responsibility that I had no idea how to live up to.

My life growing up was filled with numerous occasions where I can look back now and see that God had given me divine protection. I was too blind to see what was going on in my life, so I convinced myself that it was all about me. My childhood years were filled with violence, alcohol, drugs, gambling, and many other things that are contrary to God's will. All of the men that I saw in my life lived this way and I admired them. I couldn't wait to get my chance to be a man. I tried to become a man based on everything that I saw going on in the world, but I really had no idea what a man was supposed to be. I lived most of my life doing pretty much whatever I felt like doing. Whether right or wrong it didn't matter, I just lived. After high school I went into the Air Force and even though the choices that I made were still based on the things that I thought to be true, it all went my way. I excelled in everything that I attempted. Whether right or wrong everything I did, I tried to be the best at it. After returning home from the military, I continued to live according to my false belief that I was doing everything that I needed to do to become a man. Before, everything seemed to be going good for me because I was doing a whole lot more positive things than negative things. But now it was just the opposite and my life began to slowly unravel. Life is more serious for me now also because I've got a family and did most of the things that according to the world would make me a man. The only problem was that no one that I loved was happy with me. Not knowing what to do to fix what was wrong with my life, I began searching everywhere for answers. The only problem with that was, they were all of the wrong places and things only got worse. Now, whom do I tell that I have no idea what to do with my life? Most of the people that I associated with were lost just like me. Where do I go? Who do I confide in? I continued making bad choice after bad choice. Eventually, I found myself alone because the choices that I had made had alienated me from everyone whom I loved. I had no idea at the time but this was the perfect place for me to be because for the second time in my life, I chose to believe in God. It was my 37th birthday.

The Haven of Rest, a shelter for men at difficult times in their lives, is where I found myself. If you had told me before that I would be here, I would have called you crazy. But, believe it or not, this was the best thing that could have happened to me. The Spirit of God began to show me things. Mainly, who I was and what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I became obsessed with wanting to know more about God and what it was that he had planned for my life. The men that I was there with, young and old, would always ask me for advice about life and discuss their struggles with me. Why me? It was much easier for me to understand why the younger men would want to share with me, but I was puzzled by the older men asking me for advice on issues. I was in the same position that they were in. I studied the Bible everyday and went to a number of different churches to hear the Word of God. Everywhere I went, people of every race, age, and gender would pick me out of the congregation and tell me that there was something about me that agreed with their spirit. I was admonished on many occasions to be very serious about what I was doing because God was going to use me in a mighty way. How did these people know that Mrs. Jackson had told me these same things as a boy? I began to ask God to show me what it was that I was supposed to be doing because I was confused. I woke up one morning and the Spirit of God led me to the Bible to study 1st Timothy 4:12-16 This passage of scripture helped me understand that the things that have happened to me are not coincidences. The journey that has brought me to this place in life has been an awesome journey. It has taken me to the lowest depths of existence as well to the most wonderful joy of being filled with the Holy Spirit of God. God has given me a testimony and he wants me to share it with others to encourage them to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. It is only through this relationship with Jesus that we can be connected to our source of true happiness, which is our Father in heaven. Sin has separated us from the love of God simply because God is a holy God and will not have any interaction with sin. Often times we see God as a last resort. After we've exhausted all other options, we decide to give God a try. Hopefully, I can encourage someone to try God before they waste their time with all of the other useless searches for happiness. There is no happiness in misery, and life without God is miserable. So, until I die, I'm going to make sure I'm heard spreading the word of God! I love you and I pray that these poems are not only a blessing to you, but also a blessing to someone you know and love.

Toney has a wife, Alice, and four children.